Dreams
by Poisonsnake23
Summary: Rin finds himself remembering when he'd rather forget, his mind crafting scenario after scenario of his friends leaving him and his sleep being manipulated till all he can see is his father dying and his friends leaving. I swear its kinda good, it would really be cool if you could read and review. I'd owe you a lot, but the only warning i can really think of is death.


I plan to do more Blue exorcist and i kind of wrote this on a whim after reading this great fic on AO3 by Love_Psycho called stay. Its amazing and adorable and made me want to cry. You should totally go read that by the way. Anyway I am Actually planning to write a multi-chapter fic which is going to be Rin X OMC so look forward to that. anyway thank you for reading this please review, it would be great and i would love some criticism.

Sometimes Rin dreams of that night, of the blue flames engulfing his father and that crazed look in the man's eyes as he screamed something, something about Rin joining him.

The boy isn't really sure, he doesn't remember, or rather, he doesn't want to, because despite the dreams, all he can really remember is watching his father fall at his feet, a knife sticking out of his heart, and the horrible pain and realisation that falls over him, because the only reason the old man's dead is because Rin couldn't be quiet.

He dreams about how he wrapped himself around the dead body, his arms curling around his old man's chest as tears fell unstoppable from his eyes. He recalls the feeling of the body becoming stiff and the warm blood pooling out around him, the body become devoid of the warmth Rin is so used to.

He remembered every time he was held in those warm arms, how the old man would whisper kind kind words in his ears as he cried at night sometimes, assaulted by horrible dreams that somehow make him feel as though he is being burned alive, and pulled apart, but the worst feeling is the one where he doesn't get to see his family again. But then he's lying on his father's dead body, gone cold from the hours and hours he spent lying there before anyone found them.

He learnt to muffle his screams quickly after the first night when Yukio tried to comfort him and find out what had caused such a reaction.

He has learnt to instinctively turn his head to the pillow and bite down whenever his body goes into the all too familiar state. And so, Yukio has never caught him again and Rin never has to explain himself.

They started as once a week, the first time occurring after his last remaining family member held a gun to his head and he felt something break inside him. That one had been the worst since the beginning, where father died crying out how he was a waste and it was his fault, and Rin had been glad Yukio had gone on a mission and it was a Saturday. He spent the entire day trying to convince himself that it wasn't his fault, that his flames wouldn't eat up his brother like they did his father.

He failed.

The dreams came more and more.

Then his friends left and he couldn't sleep at all, his skin felt stained with his father's blood and he could always here Satan whispering tauntingly in the background.

The dreams became more vivid, the ugly words twisting themselves to form horrible and ugly memories that he would never forget.

It is one of these occasions where he finds himself shaken awake in the middle of the night by a worried brother, the floor cold below him and his lips bleeding so hard from biting down and trying to muffle his screams.

"Rin?" And then he breaks down, because despite his brother holding a gun to his head, he can't not give in to those begging and sad eyes of his little brother. His Last family member.

He explains how he saw their father die, and how he curled up next to the man, his arms wrapped tightly around him begging him not to die for hours and hours because no one had thought to look for them.

Yukio holds his big brother close and reminds himself that Rin isn't always happy and needs a hug sometimes even if he is older. With a kind smile and a soft voice, he suggests therapy.

Rin just wants the dreams to stop, he just wants to finally be rid of the guilt and so agrees and somehow, they find themselves curled up together on Rin's bed, tear lines straining the half demons face.

It's the first time in three weeks he hasn't had a nightmare, and he next day they organise Rin's therapy, Yukio with him the entire time.

He feels, somehow, that he finally has his brother back. And then he wonders, looking up and smiling kindly at Yukio, if he ever really lost him.


End file.
